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Writer's pictureJennifer Neitzel (Dallas, TX)

Do you talk to yourself with that mouth?

I had the privilege of speaking at a virtual notary summit last night about the Pillars of a Notary Business. My time was spent talking about the pillar of confidence as a business owner. Confidence is tricky...it can ebb and flow in us throughout the day and is certainly difficult to muster up when we're feeling down or vulnerable. One trick I learned, and shared last night at the summit (and a few weeks ago during my Building Authentic Relationships call inside Notary Business Builder) was learning how to speak more positively to myself. I wanted to share some of that information with you in hopes of improving your self-confidence!

*When practiced regularly, positive self-talk has the ability to reduce stress and anxiety, increase happiness, encourage healthy habits, promote self-confidence and decrease negativity and psychological symptoms.

Here are some ways to implement positive self-talk into your day:

  1. Don't fall into the negative self-talk traps:

  • Personalizing (blaming everything on yourself)

  • Magnifying (focusing only on the negative without acknowledging the positive)

  • Catastrophizing (always expecting the worst)

  • Polarizing (only thinking in black and white with no grey area)

2. Talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend. If a negative thought enters your mind, evaluate it rationally and respond with affirmations of what is good about you, and think of all the things you have to be grateful for in your life.


3. Make self-care a priority. Spend a few moments every day doing something you enjoy. This can include meditation, exercise, playing with your kids or reading a book. Nothing is off limits.


4. Limit your exposure to negativity. If social media is bringing you down, remove the app from your phone for a while to take a break. If you have a toxic friend, cut back on the amount of time you spend together.


5. Practice gratitude daily in a journal or with a mental checklist. For me, keeping a daily gratitude journal forces me to look for things in my day be grateful for...and I love that feeling of focusing on good things in my life!


6. Change your vocabulary. Remove the words, "I can't" and replace them with, "I can!"


7. Take a time out if you feel negativity creeping into your day. Check your feelings, and think of ways to put a positive spin on the negative situation.


8. Post positive affirmations around your home to remind yourself to stay in a positive and compassionate frame of mind.


9. Find the humor in a negative situation. Laughter is truly the best medicine.


10. Work with a professional if you've tried everything on this list and you're not successful in changing how you talk to yourself. Mental health professionals can work with you to pinpoint the origins of your self-talk, as well as strategies on how to flip the script. I consider my therapist a valuable part of my team!


Til next time...

Jen

*DPS Staff 4/23/2021


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